The door opened quickly and violently, as if someone was breaking in, but Maddie knew otherwise. Brandon stumbled in, hiccupping as he went, closing the door behind him, fiddling with the keys in his hand before sighing angrily and waving at the door, as if the air would lock it for him. Drunkenly, he turned, swaying heavily, his arms swinging around him like vines around a tree. As their eyes met he stopped, in his drunken state assuming she hadn’t seen him. Her glare was fixed and arms folded. She was wearing what she did every night, a long grey nightie, one she had worn since their wedding, ‘easy access’ she had called it. But now her face wasn’t the same as that night, it was stern and furious with flared nostrils and wide eyes.
“Where have you been?” Maddie demanded, quoting almost every wife whose husband had come home inexplicably drunk.
“Out,” Brandon said quickly, trying his best to hide his slurs.
“Where?” she demanded again. He huffed at her.
“Out,” he repeated. This time, she huffed at him, taking a step closer. Now, Brandon could see the fury in her blue eyes and her withdrawn tongue as she held back her shouts.
“You better have a bloody good reason,” she seething, breathing heavily through her teeth. Brendon huffed at her again, pushing aside her anger clearly written across her face.
“Did you miss me?” he teased, still swaying, his arms dangerously close to the framed pictures on the table beside him. Maddie recoiled slightly, her anger slowly fading into sorrow, tears building in her eyes. She bit her lip and sucked in cool air before looking back at him.
“Yes, I did,” she said. Brandon jolted back slightly at the sincere, contained answer, swinging himself steady again. “Because while you were off galivanting around town with your friends, I was here, tucking our daughter into bed. And as I am doing that, my phone rings. I have to stop saying goodnight to her to answer it. It was from my father…” she hesitated, breathing in sharply again but her eyes never left his. “My mother died.” She finished. Even through his drunken vision, Brendon could see Maddie’s eyes well up again, more tears falling down her face. He brought a hand forward to pull her closer but she stepped back, lightly pushing his hand to the side and he let it fall, confusion spreading across his face. She took in another deep breath. “This is how it’s been since the beginning. You go out, get drunk, come home late and I'm already asleep and I find you passed out on the sofa. Thought it was funny and cute to begin with, but then it got boring and annoying. But then, you stopped, cleaned up your act, but, since last week, you’ve been sneaking out to drink, leaving me alone. And not only that, but alone with your infant daughter.” Once she had finished, Brendon had started to cry, the warm tears gently falling down his face, creating a river as they meandered down where the wrinkles of smiles used to form.
“Maddie, I,” he started.
“No,” she interjected, her voice stern again. “I have lost my mother, your daughter has lost her grandmother, a woman she will never remember. I lost someone and the only person I could talk to was our daughter, who was confused about why I was crying in the first place! I don’t want her Christmas ruined with the memory of her grandmother’s death! And you weren’t here for me, or for her. I don’t feel like I can rely on you anymore.” Brendon opened his mouth but she barged past him, heading for the stairs.
“Maddie, please I’m…” he tried, but she didn’t turn. As she reached the stairs she stopped, her back still to him.
“I'm taking Rachel to my brother’s tomorrow,” she said after a moment, her voice warbled with tears, holding back the urge to run to him. “We can talk more after that.” With no further words, and ignoring Brendon’s wails and desperate calls, Maddie walked up the stairs and to their bedroom, where she didn’t sleep.
Day 1
Closed Eyes
Closed Eyes
Deafening
Deafening
Closed Eyes
Day 15
E s t 2 0 2 0
Published: 15th October 2020
Fresh Start
With a sigh, I hopped off the bus and joined the crowd of students that hovered around the main entrance. I slipped my thumbs under the straps of my backpack and moved forward through muttering and laughing teenagers. Eventually, I reached the front door and I froze, a flash of blonde racing across my mind. She appeared again, taunting, her cruel smile stretched across her face and her eyes burning down on me. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
“She’s not here,” I muttered quietly, making sure no one could hear me. “She’s not here.” I stood straight and walked forward, down the nearest hallway. The school itself was empty, the only noise coming from the gaggle of students outside. As I wandered the halls, my mind began to wonder also. Soon, I became lost in the winding hallways, the shouts became quieter and quieter until all I could hear were my own footsteps. Suddenly, another footstep appeared behind me. I froze and waited, the footsteps also stopping. I breathed heavily and stepped forward again, but no footsteps sounded. I shook my head, relief slowly filling me.
“You’re nothing,” someone whispered. I reeled around to confront who spoke, but as I did, I realised I was alone. I ran to the doors of the classroom around me, but they were locked. I was alone. “You’re pathetic,” the voice said again. I spun again but revealed the same scene, an empty hallway. The words repeated, again and again, the scars on my body becoming hot. I tried to cover my ears, but the sound increased. Soon, it drowned all other sounds and I felt the blows again. The cuts started to bleed and my mind started to break. I fell to the floor, clutching my sides, tears streaming down my face as the words repeated and the memories burned. As I lay there, supposedly starting my new life, I realised that I would never be free of my pain. Never be free of her words.